Movie Review: Sharknado (2013)

Starring: Ian Ziering, Tara Reid and Cassandra Scerbo

Directed by: Anthony C. Ferrante

When a bizarre hurricane hits the coast of California it brings with it an entirely different threat. Sharks, nature’s deadliest killer are swept into the hurricane and are thrown across Los Angeles as they begin to terrorise people in the ever flooding streets.

I’ve always avoided Sharknado and movies similar to it because I just know it’s going to be a massive waste of my time. The low budget B movie have always gained a cult following but generally they’re not something I tend to watch but in the spirit of giving things a try I was intrigued to see how bad Sharknado was going to be although a small part of me was hoping for it to surprise me and be an entertaining bad movie.

Well, having just finished watching it I can only shake my head in bemusement as to how this movie got the go ahead in the first place and I can only wonder if Sharknado actually possessed editors in its ranks as it was atrociously put together. What surprises me even more is that this year the sixth instalment of the Sharknado franchise has been released. Usually garbage movies like this that get a ridiculous amount of sequels at least start off on a positive note before the franchise is killed by pointless sequels that get gradually worse and worse. Take Resident Evil and Wrong Turn as primary examples, both movies started off well with the first Wrong Turn and the first two Resident Evil’s actually being decent to watch. Then as the movie numbers got higher the quality got lower and lower but Sharknado is completely garbage yet movie studios still put a little money aside each year to create another.

The acting from all involved was horrendous and to be honest I shouldn’t be surprised as when Tara Reid is one of the marquee names you know you’re in for a bad time. Not even a drunkard John Heard could rescue this movie in any way as his scenes were short and minimal despite him being the only character that I was even remotely interested in watching. As I mentioned the editing of the movie was by far the worst think about Sharknado as each camera shot seemed to have different weather as one moment it’s sunny, the next it’s raining or cloudy before cutting to a different character where it would be sunny again. The beach shots would show a chaotic busy beach with massive waves one moment and as the movie would cut to the next shot it would show a sparsely filled beach with calm waters. Nothing about this movie made sense and the “hero” played Ian Ziering was nothing short of awful. The final few scenes were a complete joke as we see the heroic Ian Ziering take on flying sharks with a chainsaw and as the movie reaches its climax we witness him cut himself and his employee out of a sharks stomach because I forgot that sharks swallow people whole.

Overall, Sharknado was even worse than I had originally anticipated as there are so many illogical decisions made by the script writers and movie producers. I will never watch any of its sequels and I plead with anybody who has yet to watch this to watch something else and save yourself the pain. Utter, utter garbage. So far September hasn’t exactly gotten off to a high flying start.

1/10

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